Well, 2012 brings some "milestones" to our home. Emily turned 21 yesterday, Jacob turned 16 today, and Sam will turn 18 in March. Erin hits 20 in August. It is an exciting year for all of them.
Emily never ceases to amaze me. She seems to have surrendered her life to serving the Lord, I can't think of a better thing for her to have chosen to do. She is the hardest worker I know....well.... maybe my mother-in-law, father-in-law, and husband can compete with her. She has been so blessed to have been involved as an intern at Skyview this year. Her boss is a hard worker and has taught Emily the meaning of hard work. He has taught her how to serve with all of your heart and how to put God above all things. She has learned life skills that I can only wish to know. She has become so confident and independent and vibrant. She presented Skyview to our church a month or so ago and I sat in silence listening to her. Our once shy girl who couldn't dream of public speaking, stood boldy in front of the entire church and joyfully shared what Skyview Baptist Ranch's mission is and what they are doing for the Lord. Never have I heard a presentation so well done and so informative. I was stunned. She handled herself with grace and confidence. Her boss has put her in situations that she has been forced to handle; situations that have helped her to grow and to build that confidence. I admire the woman she has become. I sense that God has big plans for her; I can't wait to see them unfold..... Or as Emily is fond of saying, I can't wait to see the "pages turn".
Emily is now officially a full pledge adult. My heart is warmed and I am humbled to have been given such a treasure. God entrusted her into our hands, it overwhelms me at times. Happy Birthday baby girl! I love you to the moon and back.
Jacob turned 16 today. He was once my "baby", now he towers over me, is stronger then me, is wiser then me, is more disciplined then me, and more tender and sensitive then me. He has taught me more about who I am then anyone in my life. He has stretched me and challenged me like no other. And .. he has melted my heart more then anyone in this world. Many times my heart has ached over my precious son. When he was little, he would crawl up into my lap, grab my cheeks, and look into my eyes.... a look that peirced my soul... a look so full of love that it made you want to cry. My heart would melt. As he entered school, he would hold on to me with love that is undescribable. He would touch me tenderly and lovingly. He was so sensitive to me and my feelings; he would never have dreamed of hurting me in anyway...it would have destroyed him. Until we brought home Ri, I was Jacob's safety. I was the one whom he knew would never hurt him. I was his protector. I was his all and all. He knew that no matter what happened to him, I would be there to catch him. His love was deeper then any love that I could ever know.
Life changed for Jacob when Ri came home. My life changed and I was no longer his safe haven. It has been hard ... my heart aches more for Jacob then it has ever ached for a soul. It is a mothers ache; one that is indescribable. I can't put words into it: but for today, as I think of my precious son and his birth, all I want to do is hold him again and love on him in a way that could meet the love that little guy had for me when he was little. If I could give Jacob anything for his birthday, it would be for him to feel safe and loved by me again; it would be for him to feel the same love from me that I felt from him when he crawled up into my lap and stared right into my eyes.
Jacob has a part of my heart that noone else could ever have. I don't know why, but he does. Do I love him more then the others? NO! But there is something there; something that I can't describe, something that has a hold of me and it is so deep that I can't explain it. I am so blessed to have him as my son. I can't begin to express words that share say it. But I thank God that he gave him to us. I thank God that I have had the joy of Jacob in my life. Happy Birthday, Jake! I love you to the moon and back.
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