I'm without a camera, so this picture will just have to work. I took it with an ipod. I MISS my camera! :(

Today is Elizabeth's 7th birthday. I can't believe she is 7 already. We don't have any big plans. We have never had a birthday party for either Ri or Elizabeth. I guess I have come to a point where I am a bit embarrassed at all the parties I had for the other kids when they were little. I worked hard to make sure they had cool parties... at least when they were young. I learned a while ago that I had gone overboard and it became more of an expectation and a burden. I want the kids to feel special and I want to make it nice, but I just don't think I need to go all out anymore. I planned on having a party for both Ri and Elizabeth, but with Ri's falling right after the holidays, I just didn't have the energy. I have it now, but since I didn't have one for Ri, I don't want to have one for Elizabeth. Next year, I NEED to have one. They are great kids and have not begged me for a party even though they have friends who have all had parties. Ri asked me yesterday when he could have one. I told him next year and he squealed with delight. So... next year it is. But for today, it will be simple.

Yesterday, Elizabeth, RI and I made cupcakes to take to school. They kids had so much fun helping with it. Last night, we made more cupcakes for the basketball game. It was our turn for snack (for Elizabeth), so we made these cupcakes. But, we were hit with ice and snow last night and now the games have all been cancelled. As a special treat, I let Elizabeth choose one to eat for breakfast! She thought that was VERY cool! We'll hang balloons and crepe paper for her soon and put candles in her cupcakes. She is having a friend spend the night (not because I thought to arrange that, but because her mom needed her to stay with someone. It just so happened that she is one of Elizabeth's best friends and it's Elizabeth's birthday). We'll probably let her open her presents when Sam comes home (he is stranded in town due to the storm).

We've talked about taking her bowling or maybe to Magic Mountain or to the movies.... but we don't know for sure. LIke I said, it is a simple birthday. She is happy and that is all that matters to me.

She has grown leaps in bounds in so many areas that it is very hard to write down. Her social development is the most obvious. She has come so far. She very easily let's go of me and enters even new things with very little hesitation. Even when she is apprehensive, she somehow digs deep and musters the courage to attempt it.... often succeeding without tears or running back to me. She is beginning to respond to people when they ask her questions; usually she always responds if I am not with her, but if I am, she will stand close to me and all I have to do is say "Elizabeth, we are practicing not being rude, please answer" and she USUALLY does.) She is a great reader, the best in her class and she is doing math a little above where she should be (1.8). The math is quite an accomplishment since this seems to be a bit hard for her. Maybe it is because I have been comparing her math skills to Ri....with whom math is a very natural thing to him and he is far beyond his age.

She still shuts down at times and sometimes just can't do things. She is not a fan at spending the night anywhere without me unless it is at Sara's house. She is still as cute as ever and draws a lot of attention because of how cute she is. She doesn't like the attention, but it happens despite her not wanting it. She has completely warmed up to Mark, FINALLY. He has been so amazing and patient with her, I don't know if I could have ever handled her rejections for so long. She has been a real stinker (not mean or nasty towards him, but rarely choosing him to snuggle with or even respond much). But Mark has been so loving and patient and gentle with her. She now will even choose him over me (especially if she is pouting with me).

She still hates dolls and will only play with barbies at Sara's house. She refuses to have them here. She prefers tv (ugh) and her leappad over anything. When I shut her down with those, she goes to her littlest pet shop and zooble collection. She LOVES them and really seems to enjoy playing with any type of little thing like that. She is not so much into 'talking with animals", I guess she is outgrowing it.

She still is very hot most of the time and refuses to wear long sleeves (unless her pride will allow her to admit it). I have to force her to wear a winter coat (even when it is 20 degrees out). Yesterday, she had a sweatshirt on and a light jacket and absolutely refused to wear a winter coat. I forced her, but she pouted with me the entire morning!)

As for physical devlopement, she has finally lost a tooth (in December) and is working on 2 more. She is still the smallest kid. You should see her on the basketball team. It is adorable. She is so tiny compared to everyone else. She is 45 1/2 inches tall and weighs around 45-48 pounds (depending on our scales for the day). We haven't had problems with her health lately, in fact, this has been the best winter season yet!

Her favorite movie is Tangled, though she would tell you Cars2 since she just watched it. She also loves Narnia, Voyage of the Dawn Treador, Kung Fu Panda (and 2), and Lion King. She is just now getting into playing games. Her favorite (because it is the one she has) is Clue Jr. She loves reading Arthur books on her own and having Magic Treehouse books read to her every night. She can read Magic Treehouse books on her own, but she tends to be a bit on the lazy side and doesn't want to read so many words.

Her favorite food is junk food... of any kind. It is a constant battle between she and I as to what she will eat. I have to check her lunch box daily to see if she actually ate the sandwich I packed for her. If she could, she wouldn't eat anything but junk food! I hate that battle! Luckily, she loves apples and most fruits. She is not a fan of veggies and will avoid them at all costs (unless it is corn). I have to get a little creative to get healthy stuff in her. Unfortunately, I am not all that creative!

Well, that is enough for now. Ri wants me to ask him some questions so I can record things about him as well. I will do that soon. Pray for Emily, she is on her way to Chicago to see her boyfriend. It is funny how young love is... not even a snow storm can stop it! :)

On Friday, Sam recieved a letter in the mail from the Congress of the United States. Mark and I had picked the mail up; I just stared at it, fearing as to what might be inside. Sam has faced many disappointments lately. He had JUST had his interview on January 5th. I couldn't imagine that Congressman Gibbs had already made his decision on his nomination to the academies. So I was very nervous about this letter. Sam was in the basement, so I walked down and handed it to him. It seemed to me that he had the same hesitation. I asked him if he wanted me to stay with him or leave. He said I could stay. He opened it up and began reading. Then he said "oh" with a shocked voice. He said he had recieved the nomination. I asked him to read it to me. Then he said "oh" again. I was so excited for him! He told me that he had been nominated for BOTH academies! Here is what the letter read:

Dear Mr. Miller:

I am pleased to inform you that I am submitting your name in nomination to compete for an appointment to the United STates Naval Academy, and the United STates Military Academy for the class entering the summer of 2012.

........

There is more, but I do not need to put it all in here. We are so very proud of Sam's accomplishments. As for now, he is waiting on the next step. I believe the next step is recieving an appointment to either academy. We do not know when that would arrive (or the letter stating that he did not recieve the appointment). We will just have to wait. He is also awaiting notification as to whether he recieved an ROTC scholarship to Cedarville, Purdue, or Toledo (all of which he has been accepted to). The hardest part on SAm now is the not knowing. He has so many things going on and nothing that he can actually hold onto and say "yes" to.

We are so thankful to God's grace in Sam's life. How proud we are of our son!

Ri Update

The cardiologist called me this afternoon. This is the second time in a month that he has called me personally. It always surprises me when it is the doctor on the other end of the phone. Unfortunately, our phone connectiion is HORRIBlE. I struggled through every word he said; straining to hear him and understand him. I gave it all I had and in the end, this is what I got from the conversation:

The piece that came off of the stent is very small and has already embedded itself into the wall of the lung. It is nothing to be concerned about. When that happens, they do not worry about it. There is no danger at all. If it were near the heart, they would go in and try to remove it, but since it is located where it is, they will not do anything. I would have asked more questions, only I could barely hear him and was fighting to understand everything he said. Both of the doctors (his cardiologist and the doctor who placed the stents in) feel that only the left stent is fractured. They still do not know how the piece got into the right lung but they are convinced only one stent is fractured. It does need to be repaired. But the doctor feels that he won't have any problems placing a stent inside of this stent. He feels there is enough room to get around easily. That is all good news. I asked if he felt there would be a chance that he might have open heart if they can't get it in, he assured me that the doctor is confident that he will. So I will just leave it at that.

The stent will be done through the cath lab again. Evidentally it is a bit more difficult to schedule surgeries at the moment due some hospital relocation things going on. So... we are thinking it might be in a month. I did ask if this was there when Ri had x-rays done back in August. He said it was, but the way the x-ray was taken, it was barely visible. He could understand why noone saw it.

So, we rejoice in God's grace ... again... in our lives.

Always a challenge

Yesterday, I met with a pulmonary specialist. Since we have ruled out his breathing being heart related, we felt this was our next step. Ri had a chest x-ray and then we met with the doctor. The doctor was wonderful. Ri was just finishing a breathing test in a different room when the doctor poked his head in and checked out the results. He was thrilled to see Ri pass it with flying colors. Then he walked with us to our room where we were to wait until he got done with another patient. When he came in the room for the exam, he told me he had been talking with Dr. Teske (Ri's cardiologist) all morning. I was a bit baffled as to why he hadn't consulted with him earlier if he felt the need to, assuming that he meant he corresponded because of Ri's heart and the findings on the MRI. Then he sat down and told me that his x-ray look absolutely normal. He didn't see anything concerning about his lungs and he passed his breathing test with flying colors. All good news. Then he got a bit more serious and repeated his earlier statement of: "his x-ray looks normal" only this time he added this: "BUT it's not normal". I wasn't sure where he was going to go with it or what abnormality they had found. I was expecting TB or something like that. But that wasn't the case.

Evidentally, THIS radiologist noticed more then the others who evaluated his x-rays back in August and in November. He discovered that Ri has fractures in BOTH of his stents. The Pulmonary doctor felt that at least the one in his right lung probably had been there back in August. How could they have missed that in the previous 2 x-rays and in the MRI, I do not know. But I am praising God that this one noticed it. Thus, the reason for the many calls to our cardiologist that morning. Evidentally his fractures are somewhat special and concerning to the point that the cardiologist has no idea how they will deal with it. He is going to be consulting with Dr. Mark Galantowicz (co-director and chief of the heart center) and Dr. John P. Cheatham, MD (co-director of the heart center) regarding Ri's condition. Dr. Cheatham is the doctor who placed the stents in his heart. We were very pleased with him and feel very confident with all 3 of these doctors. I remember when we brought Ri home and we were seeking a good cardiologist for him, I had read so many amazing things about Dr. Galantowicz that I longed for Ri to have him as his doctor.

I honestly do not know what this all means. The pulmonary specialist showed me the x-ray. It appears that a portion of one of the stents has separated from the stent and is in a blood vessel in his lung. I believe that this is the part that they do not know what they will need to do. They also do not know if this is the reason for Ri's breathing issues. It is possibly, maybe, that the part in the blood vessel is blocking blood flow and possibly causing some breathing problems, but they certainly do not know for sure and are not indicating that they feel strongly that it is.

Unfortunately Dr. Cheatham may be out of town and so the consulations may need to be done by email. I do not know when I will know anything. I have done a small amount of internet research (dangerous... I know). It appears that the type of fracture he has is the most serious (again, that is only my internet snooping evaluation). It also appears that some fractures can be repaired by inserting a new stent into the fractured stent. Unfortunately, I can not find information on what they do when a part has separated and lodged elsewhere. I am praying that we will not have to face open heart surgery. When he first got his stents placed, the nurse told us that if they ever had to remove a stent (due to collapsing or problems that could not be repaired), they would have to be removed through open heart surgery).

So, God continues to put me at his feet. I am so thankful for that. I do not want Ri to go through anything; but I praise God for him bringing me to a point that I can only be dependent on Him for strength. The Upward verse for the kids these past 3 weeks has been: Be strong and brave. Do not be terrified. Do not lose hope. I am the Lord your God. I will be with you everywhere you go. Joshua 1:9

Well, it's official and I can finally share with everyone. Emily is officially dating a wonderful young man whom she met at camp back in May. They met before camp when he volunteered for a day. She didn't see him again until mid summer when he ended up being the Pioneer camp speaker for a week .... the week Emily was a pioneer counselor. She was only a counselor for that particular camp one week. He was only a speaker for one week. They barely spoke until mid week. A few weeks later, he came back to camp to volunteer for a day; he chose to weed the pond with her for SEVEN hours. They had a lot of wonderful and deep converstions in that pond. Then he headed back to college ... in Chicago... Moody Bible College. From there, they began a deep friendship and a building of a realtionship over texting and skype. By October, they were seeking God's wisdom and direction in their relationship. In December, Caleb asked our permission to date her. By mid December, when he officially began winter break, he asked her to date him. So.. NOW.. I can finally share with everyone what is making my girl so happy. And happy doesn't even begin to express her emotions these days. She is so content and so joyful and so enjoying what journey God is taking her on.

Is was great to have everyone home for a little bit this Christmas break. Em was able to be home for 4 or 5 days. Erin just went back on Sunday and is settling back into the routine of school. She has a full semester ahead of her. She is taking an EMT course and will officially have her license by the fall. She is growing leaps and bounds in her walk with the Lord. She isn't sure where God is taking her with career/education. She is seriously wanting to explore non-profit organizations that help people. She was suppose to go to Africa for a few weeks during spring, but it got cancelled yesterday. That bummed her out, but God quickly showed her a new door where she could travel to Equador for 3 1/2 weeks doing Health Studies. She is very excited about it because it seems to be very similar to what she thinks she may be interested in pursuing. So, she officially got accepted today and is pursuing that.

Ri goes to the pulmonary specialist tomorrow, so hopefully we will find out a bit more about his breathing issues.

Here are just a few quick pictures to enjoy.

As I have a few moments to reflect, I praise God for giving us our precious son. Joy does not begin to describe Ri. There is something so special about him that words can not touch it. He is a pure gift.... no words could better suit a child then the word "gift". Ri brings such joy to our lives. I can't not express enough how special this child is.

Ri can liven up any room with just his presence. He is full of life, full of joy, full of a spark that is easily obtained just by watching him. His smile and his giggle are contagious. He is priceless. If ever I am having a tough day, Ri can ALWAYS bring me around. He is innocent and sweet, tender and ornery, joyful and lively.... he is a bundle of energy yet with just a word spoken, he will calm down and respond. He is such a good boy. And boy is this child smart. Honestly... he blows me away with the things he learns and does. If he is not a gifted kid, then I will have to admit that I don't understand the word... wow... he is bright.

His absolute favorite things in the world are: ipod, ipad, ds, wii, leapster, leappad, epad...... anything electronic that he can put his hot little hands on. Addicted? yep! And, yes, it is a problem. We know that and understand it. I am constantly needing to reign him in. If he could, he would play for hours upon hours upon hours. We have to keep a very close eye on his game playing. The others never had the opportunities that he has. With 4 teenage siblings and a computer Dad..... he has access to just about anything he wants. When I take away one thing, he picks up another (if he can get by with it.... and sometimes just his sweet smile and look wins me over). But the cool thing is that he can just as easily switch to building things with legos, kicking a soccer ball, playing stuffed animals with Elizabeth, coloring, reading, or any other thing that looks the least bit interesting to him. His brain is constantly seeking something to entertain it. He would rather be doing something then sitting and watching TV (unlike his younger sister).

Here are a few of our first pictures of Ri while he was still waiting for his forever family:

Our first few days with Ri. His thumb was his precious safety. This is on a trip back to his orphange.

2008... He's been home for a year.

2009

2010

2011

Happy Birthday baby boy! Just wanted to shout out to my son. He turned 7 today! I can't believe it. Time is flying by. It b

It's a NEW year

I have to say that I am not sad to see 2011 behind me. I am looking forward to a brand new year. I am very aware that I should be ashamed to say that it was a bad year. It really wasn't. There are so many things that were good and so many things that could have happened to have made it a year that I would never want to visit again.

But... the truth is... 2011 made me more sad then anything. I realized a lot about myself that I didn't like: this is probably the biggest reason I stopped blogging. It was a hard year for me as a mother. I was forced to face a lot of things about my parenting skills and about my responses to my children. I struggle with who I have become as a mom. I struggled all year with it. Circumstances kept throwing it in my face. It has made me very sad and very reflective... and consequently, very challenged to become the mom that God desires me to be.

Raising teenagers is a challenge. I used to ache when I heard parents complain about their teens or get so frustrated that the words they chose hurt me (let alone how much it would have hurt their children). I didn't understand and I certainly didn't approve. But I found myself battling every emotion I could face and struggling with the outcome in ways I never dreamt I would. The dynamics of ages and personalities around me these past 4-5 years has beat me down and changed me. I finally came to the point of realizing how deep I had fallen and how desparately I needed to make my walk with God right.

So, I am glad to see 2011 go; hoping that much of the baggage is leaving as well. I am anxious to live for Christ in a new way. I am excited about where my focus is taking me. I don't like who I have become, but I know that it is not permanent and I am the one who can change it.

I hope to blog more and to share the journey God is taking me. Maybe my blog will become a journey of my life or maybe it will be about the kids, I really do not know. I look forward to where I am heading.